Progressive Police Department Smokes Weed Before Shift

1
2166

DENVER, CO – Touting an almost overnight decrease in use of force reports, Lakewood Police Department credits passing around a marijuana cigarette at roll call (the traditional beginning of a police officer’s shift). Each officer takes a hit and passes it to the next until everyone has received their patrol assignments and demonstrates they are in the right frame of mind to engage the community.

Lakewood is arguably one of the most progressive departments since the legalization of marijuana in Colorado and many other states. Sgt. Toliver stated, “Not only has our use of force gone to virtually zero, but arrests have also gone down because now when alleged criminals tell officers to ‘Chill out’ they actually are.”

One city council member is not happy about the new pre-patrol activity and has threatened to report the officers to the DEA, as marijuana is still federally listed as a schedule 1 controlled substance. Councilwoman Thatcher said, “If these officers want to act like children, I’ll treat them like children. I’m giving them the adult version of counting to three and if they refuse to switch back to tobacco, I will take the steps necessary to see they are brought to justice.”

BNN reporters were offered some of the devil’s lettuce while on scene but politely declined.

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here