BREAKING: Entire Shift on Sick Leave after Gas Station Burrito Incident

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LEAKLY, IN – A rural Police Department in Indiana has been forced to consign an entire afternoon platoon to sick leave for 7 working shifts as mandated by a gastroenterologist consulting for the agency. This is putting a financial strain on the small department where the day shift and midnight shifts are having to rotate coverage for the 5 missing officers and 1 dispatcher that all partook in a burrito special at the local “Gas n Grub.”

Even the Chief of police has been answering calls for service in the wake of what he himself calls “an intestinal issue of biblical proportions.” The meat used in the burrito is currently being sampled at the State Police laboratory with a full tox-screen expected soon to determine what may have caused the only thing all the officers and dispatcher shared in common: the 10lb burrito.

The Gas-n-Grub, established in 1986, is best known for it’s enormous burrito designed for sharing and when “trucker sized” can be made to include up to 15 pounds of beef, chicken or goat. The officers of bravo shift, working 3p-11p, had a coupon for 1/2 off the burrito and the dispatcher told the least senior officer that she was “hangry.” So, Officer Mosky set off to the gas station to get the crew their fix. Little did he know what awaited them as not only have the officers been put on sick leave, but the station janitor has also taken personal leave after arriving to work the day after the shift shared that fateful meal.

Further investigation from BNN journalists show a possible connection with one of the attendants at the popular gas station. 24 year old Jimmy Bodom had previously been arrested by the Leakly PD for possession of animal pornography on his cell phone. BNN attempted to obtain a statement from Bodom about whether or not he had anything to do with the tainted burritos served up to the officers but his mother said he was sleeping downstairs and unavailable for comment.

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