Beto O’Rourke: “I Was Only Arrested Because of My Nickname”


El Paso, TX – The 1990’s were a mix of punk band shows, spending family dollars and getting arrested for Texas Presidential hopeful Robert “Beto” Francis O’Rourke. The former congressman was arrested twice: once for driving while intoxicated and another time for jumping a fence into the University of Texas El Paso Facility (which Beto says proves walls don’t work).

Beto, the candidates nickname for Robert, has never denied being arrested but in an effort to double down on previous claims that police officers are killing unarmed people at a “frightening level” is now raising the stakes even higher that his base will enjoy any anti-cop rhetoric he can muster. Beto happily took to the internet Saturday morning with his normal high energy approach:

Have i been arrested? yes. have i participated in insider trading? yes. Was a part of a hacking cult? Yes. did i write about a fictional desire to kill children? yes. But was i caught because i have a latino nickname? probably. At this point it’s safe to say i was only arrested because of my nickname, which is distinctly latino.

Another presidential hopeful, Senator Elizabeth Warren, came to Beto’s defense saying “Being 1/1024th Native American I understand the struggles misunderstood minorities face. We are the minorities of the minorities! Not only have we had to overcome not having the heritage we identify with, the ridicule of the general public that goes along with that but also the response of law enforcement, who are trained to focus on people like us.”

Beto, standing nearby Warren as she aggressively defended him, nodded and shadow boxed with an awkward smile on his face and then yelled into the microphone “┬íViva El Paso!” When BNN finally got a question in at the press conference, Beto was pressed if he would continue to use his non-latin heritage to gain votes and he turned to the crowd and said, “Well, that’s up to all the women out there, it’s their choice.”

The lineup for the DNC nod for the 2020 race is getting wider by the week and you can be sure BNN will be there to cover it all.


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